I Keep Going Back For More…

Sure, sometimes it snows in April.  Not often, but it happens…  But how many times do you have it snow all day long on a spring day in April day and then you find yourself going to Sam’s Club and Walmart?!?  That was my Friday to start the weekend,  Well…those and Target too if you’re counting, but Target’s not as bad as the first two locations.  And…when I got home from all those trips…?  There wasn’t a single drop of alcohol in the house.  That’s just not right.

I’m thinking of starting a video blog “Drew goes to Walmart” documenting each and every one of my Fayette County Walmart experiences, but I don’t know how I’d be able to sneak the camera in and shoot that classic footage without getting caught.  Though, when I think about it, who would notice when everyone is lost in their own world around there?

When I was in Sam’s Club this time, I thought I kept seeing the same guy in multiple aisles throughout the store.  But later, I finally realized that it was four different guys, who just happens to all be wearing the exact same camouflage cap and jacket, the same dirty brown beard, the same carpenter jeans and muddy boots.  Each time he had a different wife though, so I probably should have noticed quicker.  And there I was, wearing dress pants at the time.  I so didn’t fit in.

Then in Walmart, I couldn’t help but notice that almost every woman in there was wearing yoga pants.  Sure, that in itself isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  But…  If they’re too big, you look like you’re wearing a diaper.  And, if you’re too big…?  Well…I’ll let you figure that one out yourself,  And there I was clicking my way down the aisles in dress shoes.  So completely not fitting in.

And I get it.  Sometimes when you’re not feeling well, you still have to go to the store.  It happens.  But…if you’re going to cough or sneeze, why can’t you do it well before or well after passing me in the aisle?  Three times, I had someone do that in the exact moment that they passed me by.  Like in that actual moment when they’re within two feet of my personal space (or even closer).  Sure, two of the three people coughed or sneezed into their hand, but two out of the three also turned toward me rather than away when they did it too.  I think I need to look into teaching etiquette lessons at the local ‘Y’ or something.  Sheesh…

I actually do consider myself to be a people person, but Walmart (or Walmart-owned) places do scare me off of people for a while.  Maybe that’s why I’m writing this outside, just keeping company with Graham the cat as he watches dozens of birds scavenge in the yard.  It’s so much more quiet and peaceful, especially when that freak snow has melted and all of the dandelions are no longer hidden beneath it.  I guess that means that I need to do yard work tomorrow.  But that’s still better than even a five minute trip to Walmart…

 

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