Dancing With The Political Candidates


I don’t have the longest attention span.  I’ll admit it.  Like most Americans, I’m completely capable of mentally drifting away and toning things out when something equally as interesting is brought to my attention.  It’s become the American Way of life for all of us.

It can pertain to work, to conversations with friends and family, news, books, television shows…  The list goes on.  And, rather than complain about it or argue with you about how wrong it is or that we need to do something to fix thIs epidemic, I’m simply going to accept it and embrace it.  We need to use it in a way that makes sense – or at least provides a little entertainment value to the world around us.  By combining things that might not seem meant to go together so we can focus on a couple of things at once.  So, with that in mind, here’s what I’m suggesting…

Dancing With the Political Candidates

This would be a combination of the show Dancing With the Stars and the ongoing political bickering that seems to go on throughout the same television season.  Sure, just like all kinds of new ideas (like powdered peanut butter or Ben Affleck playing Batman), I know it sounds crazy at first. But just hear me out.

PROS:  #1 There would be no more debates.  None.  And very few people would even notice.  Do you remember when debates used to be about actual issues?  We would tune in and find out that so-and-so wanted to up defense spending by 10% while another candidate wanted to cut educational spending by 50% to allow for more spending on road signs and research to fight the itchiness caused by mosquito bites.   It helped us make a decision when we knew what they somewhat believed in.  Now, they call each other names and discuss the size of a candidate’s hands without even giving us a measurement to base it on, so what’s the point?

#2 Less spending.  The network carrying the show would provide their own advertising budget and tell us when it’s on and when to watch.  Nobody would make us feel poor by telling us that they’ve spent $20 million of their own money paying for radio ads in rural Iowa.  And no one would be calling us asking for donations either.  They’d just show us commercials and hope that we’re persuaded to buy the right cars or beer or burgers.  And, with DVR, we wouldn’t even have to watch those pesky commercials.  Ahh…technology…

CONS:  #1 Well, the talent level wouldn’t be very high, and so things could get a little dull by the end of the season.  And the creepiness factor might be a little overwhelming (like when you would see Ted Cruz looking intently at his partner while doing the Tango.  Brrrrrrr…).  Then there would be Hilary Clinton stepping all over her partner’s feet in sensible shoes while doing the Rumba in a solid-color pants suit, Donald Trump telling everyone how “great” his Paso Doble was while tweeting nasty personal remarks about the judges who all gave him 4’s, or Bernie needing a little help stopping his quick-stepping as they wheel around the stage so he doesn’t go tumbling off into the crowd.  But the show would only be on every four years, so there’s that.

#2 We’d need a lot of candidates to start with.  So that means more people who think they deserve to be president out there asking for our votes.  Senators we’ve never heard of, governors, business people, lawyers, and people who just want to get on TV.  Heck, I might even try to get on if I’d get paired up with the right professional dancer.

So I’m not saying its perfect.  But it’s got to be better than the process that we’re dealing with now.  And I’ll bet more people would actually participate in the voting process if they could do it from home, sitting on the couch and dialing a toll-free number.  Heck, the majority of people might vote more than once.  Now that would be democracy in action.

We might not end up with the best overall world leader this way.  But we’d at least have someone with the right moves…

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