Grammatically Speaking…

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I should’ve climbed the fence to get a better shot.  Or as least gotten closer to the fence so that the chain links didn’t get in the way of what I see driving by each day.  What cracks me up is that they have multiple signs saying the same thing and only this one didn’t get “leaveing” correct…

Now let me make this clear… I’m not with the grammar police.  I’m not even a grammar narc.  I’m not the kind of person who jumps in to correct everyone when they use the wrong word in conversation, or makes a typo in an email or text message.  I completely keep it inside (and maybe die a little on the inside.  That’s all…) 🙂  But it happens.  Heck, without spell check, some sentences that I write would barely even appear to be in English.  And I have the tendency to spell some words so horribly that I completely stump spell check.  Now that’s embarrassing to see that red, squiggly line underneath a word and read “no suggestions”.

But there are some things that drive me nuts here in Fayette County.  Certain things that are completely commonplace throughout the county, and all of the people who have been calling this place home for much longer than I have just make me shudder using them.

Quotes for example…  Walking through a grocery store and seeing a sign advertising “fresh” fish for example.  I’m not a seafood kinda guy anyway, but if I was, “fresh” just wouldn’t cut it.  And, if I can’t keep my mouth shut and make a comment about (just to someone I know of course), they don’t understand my concern.  But what if I commented on their “well behaved” kids, or their “attractive” haircut?  What if I thanked them for their “intelligent” contribution to the conversation or told them their dress “doesn’t” make them look fat?  Think they might start catching on to the way those simple little marks change everything?

And made-up words, those I can handle, even if they trip me up.  They’re part of the color and charm of different areas of the country.  I had a friend from South Carolina who said ‘A’it’ when he agreed with you.  An abbreviation for ‘All right’.  The south has ‘y’all’ for ‘you all’.  But here in western PA we have ‘Yins’.  Short for ‘You Ins’ as far as I can tell.  It’s this area’s mutant cousin of ‘Y’all’.  As in – “Yins going down to Picksburg to see the game?”.  Which brings up two more issues…  Pittsburgh is north of Fayette County.  And the word Pittsburgh doesn’t have either a ‘c’ or a ‘k’ anywhere near it.  Makes me a wee bit dizzy…

Which brings me to the one that’s really been getting to me lately.  One that it seems absolutely everyone here does.  And that’s using ‘don’t’ in place of ‘doesn’t’.  As in – “He don’t have any culture”.  It’s a step up from saying “He don’t have no culture”, but not by much.  At least I can’t remember the last time I heard a sentence start with “He/She ain’t got no…”.  If I start hearing that, I think it’s time to go.  Otherwise I’m going to start laughing and get myself in trouble.  After all, even sharing grunts and growls with Bigfoot up in the mountains would make for a better conversation than anything that starts out like that…

 

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