Get Your Armpits Their Whitest


Spamers are the enemy of any website.  Going through all of that garbage and deleting the links and completely unrelated messages is a long, frustrating process.  I make sure to at least glance through everything to make sure I don’t delete anything ‘real’ though.  Which is how I manage to catch some of the unintentionally funny ones…

This morning it was a spammer from another country who either had a slight language barrier issue, or knows something that I don’t.  Because I’ve never spent a moment’s energy concerned about the possibility that my armpits might be a little too tan.  ‘Get your armpits their whitest’ was the user name this spammer had created and, all of a sudden, all I could think about was how fortunate I was that it was a gray day with the possibility of rain today and that I’d worn a long sleeved shirt to work.  Well…maybe that wasn’t the only thing I could think about, but it definitely entered the top 1,000 thoughts of the day.

What if my armpits aren’t their whitest?  All this time I’ve spent making sure that only my teeth are their whitest, or that my fingernails are clean and my nostrils are clear… And not one moment dedicated to the lightening of the skin a few inches beneath my shoulders.  Have I been wasting my life?  Has my focus been completely out of whack?

And it makes me wonder what other valuable pieces of information I might discover as I dig through the rest of my daily spam.  Oh wait…the next message is from ‘reno plastic surgeons’.  Maybe there’s a way to get my armpits whiter without the hassle of hard work and exercise.  But then I’d better skip the ‘vietnam motorbike tours’ because that fresh air and sunshine might undo all that hard work.

Sheesh…who knew being so caught up on the latest trends could be such hard work?  Makes me curious to read more!  And wait!  A spammer from Sweeden just invited me to play clash of clans… That’ll take my mind off of my pigmentally challenged pits, right?

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